When I moved to Georgia from Michigan, one of the first things I looked for was a counselor. Ministers, Pastors, Spiritual Leaders, Chaplains – we need a good therapist. Ministry in any form has its challenges, and having someone you can process them with is vital. My current therapist is amazing, and she has guided me through some really difficult moments, including suggesting I might be ADHD. Truthfully, I wasn’t surprised at this a d was open to finding out if I was. Spoiler Alert – I AM! This didn’t make me sad; it made sense. Finally, some parts of me – the parts that I saw as different – clicked, and I was relieved.

I don’t know when, why, or how my ADHD came into being. I know that it was suggested to my parents when I was young. All the time, we are learning more and more about ADHD and its development. It comes along with not-so-fun things like Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which brings intense emotional pain like shame, fear of failure, and rejection. On the other hand, a simple phrase like I’m happy” can inspire an uncontrollable burst into a slightly off but joyous rendition of Pharrell Williams’s song “Happy”.

I have trouble waiting my turn to talk because I don’t want to forget what I had to say – really, it’ll be gone in a moment’s notice. I try to relate to people by sharing similar experiences – I want a connection. I’ve learned that I have a SUPERPOWER that allows me to notice patterns, so my spidey-senses go off around suspicious people or situations. I often know who done it before the end of a movie or show. I’m great in a crisis because I can hyper-focus on what needs to be done. I’m creative with lots of ideas. But all of that comes with a cost.

Sometimes people think I’m rude when I interrupt, or I’m trying to one-up them when I share a similar experience. Sometimes I’m the “spoiler alert,” but if I tell you I didn’t know who did it until the end, that’s a GREAT show. When I’m not in a crisis, I can get bored easily, and sometimes I have too many projects at once. So, I’ve learned to self-motivate and pace myself when working on new ideas and projects.

ADHD shows up differently for women and girls, and we are forced into conforming to please others. Our society has asked women to change to please others instead of just being ourselves. We learn to mask. We hide our true feelings, and agree to do things we don’t want to do when what we want most is to be seen and loved for exactly who we are.

I got tired of my many masks about 10 or so years ago. They were a lot to manage, and I started to lean into my authentic self without apology. I’m still working on that. Going through peri-menopause and menopause was another life-altering, smack the pavement, kind-of-moment, but I’m figuring it out with the help of my therapist and some fabulous neurodivergent friends.

I know what it means to hide yourself, to be afraid to show the real you, and to spend all your time trying to fit someone else’s mold, and it’s exhausting. I see you, and I love you for exactly who you are. When I learned about my ADHD, I started to love myself, trust myself, accept myself, forgive myself, and come out of hiding. I am wonderfully and perfectly made by God.

If this sounds like you, or if you’re curious if you have ADHD, take this simple quiz. It doesn’t replace a formal diagnosis, but it will let you know if you lean my way. As always, if you are looking for someone to talk to and learn more about yourself, you can request an appointment through my website www.ledbygracecc.org or by calling me at 470-241-4336.

Until next time, Rev. Brigette